Les Poissons (Crysta's Huckleberry Hound version)
Inside the dining room table, Zak was standing near the window, looking out into the distance. While Dawson was seated at the large table, beginning to clean his pipe, Zak was waiting patiently for Crysta to arrive as he tried desperately to reason with the boy. "Oh, Zak, be reasonable," said Dawson, feeling clearly amused while waving his pipe in the air. "Nice young ladies just don't - swim around rescuing people in the middle of the ocean and then - flutter off into oblivion, like some -" Zak cut him off. "I'm tellin' you, Dawson, she was REAL!" he said, "I'm gonna find that girl. And I'm gonna marry her." He put his left hand over his chin, gazing out the glass windows. Suddenly, laughter was heard from behind him. He turned his head to see the lover with the waitress. "Come on, honey." said a voice, "Don't be shy." It was Magi. She stood by the door frame, guiding the lover into the dining room. Out of the shadows came Crysta. Crysta was now wearing a red dress with short, puffy sleeves, white frills on the collar and sleeves, a scarlet daisy-shaped brooch on the chest, and crimson ruffles on the sides and skirt of the dress (similar to Princess Daisy's dress), white frilly opera gloves, a gold crown with a scarlet jewel in the shape of a daisy, scarlet daisy-shaped earrings, a red camisole with a crimson ribbon attached to the chest, red frilly, ankle-length pantalettes, and matching pumps. This was a new look for Crysta, and she showed that she was being treated well by the servants. Zak's eyes widened as Dawson walked up behind the boy. "Oh, Zak, isn't she a vision?" asked Dawson. The grin he had was never slipping off his face. Zak's mouth hung open. But he closed his mouth and swallowed, feeling somewhat nervous. "You look - wonderful." Zak stammered. Crysta, unable to say, "Thank you," replied with a gentle blush, she shrugged her shoulders, appreciating the nice comment, a smile on her face as her green eyes looked up from behind her black hair. Zak blushed a light pink as Dawson helped Zak into his chair, quite enthusiastic, but not before giving the young princess a light nudge. Zak pursed his lips, but grinned nonetheless. "Come come come, you must be famished. Let me help you my dear. There we go - ah - quite comfy?" He helped the princess into her seat. Zak tucked the chair under the table as the fairy sat down. "Uh, it's...it's not often that we have such a lovely dinner guest, eh, Zak?" Crysta wasn't playing attention anymore. She was too intrigued by the glistening silver 'dinglehopper' resting on the table. With a wide smile, she picked up the shiny object, took off her crown, and began brushing her hair with it. She looked up to face a confused Zak and a horrified Dawson. Crysta delicately placed the 'dinglehopper' back on the table, put her crown back on her head, and looked down in embarrassment. She bit her lip and looked up as she saw Dawson using a lighter to ignite the coppery thing that Crysta understood as a 'snarfblatt'. Dawson kindly smiled at her, and handed her his pipe. "Uh, do you like it?" he asked, "It is a rather fine..." Dawson stopped in mid-sentence when the fairy blew into the pipe as if it was a trumpet, sending a cloud of smoke spurting out the top and straight into his face. Zak cracked up with laughter while Magi gave a small giggle. "Oh, my!" she exclaimed. Zak cleared his throat, trying to regain composure. "Ahem. I'm sorry, Dawson." Magi smiled, placing a hand on the guy's shoulder. "Why, Zak," she said. "That's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks." Crysta looked up from the table and smiled. "Oh, very amusing," said Dawson, as he used a handkerchief to wipe the last bit of smoke of his face and sniffed. "Magi Lune, my dear, what's for dinner?" "Oooh, you're gonna love it!" Magi smiled. "Chef's been fixing his specialty, stuffed cricket!" Jiminy poked his head out from behind a sugar bowl and gasped upon seeing the chef of a French kitchen. He was a slender dog with light blue fur with a peach muzzle, a Southern accent, and a black nose and ears. He wears a white chef's hat, and a matching apron. His name was Huckleberry Hound, the French chef of the kitchen. Huckleberry rummaged through a cupboard. Singing in French to himself, he hummed to himself as he took a basket of trout and putting one on a counter. With his food ready, the dog chef started singing. Huckleberry: Les poissons Les poissons How I love '''les poissons' ''Love to chop And to serve little fish Grabbing the trout from the basket, Huckleberry pulled out a cleaver and violently chopped off its head. This shocked Jiminy horribly. Horrified that this was happening, Jiminy hid his face. Huckleberry: First I cut off their heads Then I pull out the bones Ah mais oui Ca c'est toujours delish Taking out another trout, Huckleberry took the cleaver and violently chopped off its head then proceeded to skin it and gut it while Jiminy leaned against a wall and covered his mouth, feeling quite sick, feeling as if he may want to throw up. Huckleberry: Les poissons Les poissons Hee hee hee Hah hah hah With the cleaver I hack them in two Taking out another trout, Huckleberry again chopped its head and then chopped the rest of the body into tiny pieces. Jiminy tried getting away, but he found himself face to face with the trout's head. Huckleberry: I pull out what's inside And I serve it up fried Cause I love little fishes'' Don't you? After cutting the trout's head off, Huckleberry pulled out the insides of the trout and cooked it on a frying pan before serving it on a plate. Spotting a large lettuce leaf, Jiminy grabbed the leaf and used it to disguise himself as he slowly scuttled away from an unsuspecting chef, who is too absorbed into his little fish hacking mania but Huckleberry took a mallet and began smashing a tuna flat. Huckleberry: Here's something for tempting the palate Prepared in the classic technique First you pound the fish flat with a mallet When Huckleberry pounded the tuna flat with the mallet, Jiminy flew off the counter along with other stuff on it. He hid again under the lettuce before hearing more gross stuff from Huckleberry's preparations for the tuna. Huckleberry: Then you slash through the skin Give the belly a slice Then you rub some salt in 'Cause that makes it taste nice When Huckleberry was describing those horrid moves, Jiminy cringed even more. Just after Huckleberry put the salt on he rather was holding the fish body close to his cheek, Jiminy worst fear was confirmed when the cook reached out and grabbed the lettuce leaf, leaving him exposed. The small cricket kept perfectly still as the chef gasped, "Zut alors!" exclaimed Huckleberry, "I have missed one!" He picked up the 'dead' cricket and continued singing, Huckleberry: ''Sacre bleu'' What is this? How on earth could I miss Such a sweet little succulent cricket? ''Quel dommage'' What a loss Here we go In the sauce Now some flour I think just a spurt Huckleberry tossed Jiminy into a bowl of sauce and threw a spot of flour in his face, making him cough and sneeze before pulling him out and stuffing some breadcrumbs in his mouth. Huckleberry: Now I stuff you with bread It don't hurt 'cause you're dead And you're certainly lucky you are Jiminy spat out the breadcrumbs and wheezed loudly. Huckleberry didn't notice that the fox in his hand was still alive. Huckleberry: 'Cause it's gonna be hot In my big silver pot Toodle loo ''Mon poisson'' ''Au revoir!''' Huckleberry threw Jiminy across the room into a large pot of boiling water. Jiminy held on to the inside of the pot before a bubble popped, burning him out of the pot and onto the counter with a loud thud. Huckleberry, hearing the 'thud', looked over to it being confused. He used a pitchfork-like utensil and stabs on either side of the cricket, picking up Jiminy and carefully inspected it. "What is this?" he asked. Jiminy bit Huckleberry's nose, making him scream in pain as he held his nose. Jiminy landed on the handle of a pan on the stove. Huckleberry reached for the cricket, but instead put his hand on the fiery hot stove. The chef screamed and blew on his hand as the pan fell onto his foot. Huckleberry grabbed his foot and cried in pain, before sending Jiminy an angry glare, grabbing a bunch of knives and hurling them at the cricket. Jiminy, who ducked each knife, dove under the counter, and while the chef was looking under the counter, Jiminy pushed the bowl of sauce off the counter. The bowl shattered on his head. Going more insane, Huckleberry lifted his cleaver and brought it down. But all he managed to chop up was the counter. He saw Jiminy running for his life. Jiminy screamed as he tried getting out. The cleaver landed right in front of him, stopping him from running that way. He quickly made a mad dash underneath Huckleberry and hid underneath a cabinet of glasses and pottery. Huckleberry screamed, holding his mallet in his hand, Jiminy hid as the psychotic chef jumped and crashed into the shelves. Back in the dining room, everyone heard loud crashes coming from the kitchen. Magi, who was pouring drinks for the prince, Dawson, and their young guest, looked in the direction of the kitchen at the sound of a large crash. "I think I'd better go see what Huckleberry is up to." she said. Once she had excused herself, she hurriedly made her way to the palace kitchen. Back in the kitchen, the insane chef, ripped clothes and all, was tearing apart the cabinet, mindlessly throwing things out of the way trying to find Jiminy. "Come out, you little pipsqueak, AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" he snarled. He continued to tear apart a cupboard. "Huckleberry!" shouted Magi. He shot up, banging his head on the shelf, causing several new pots and pans to fall or break on the floor, at the sound of Magi's shrill voice. His apron was torn and stained, and his chef's hat was gone. "What are you doing?" Magi demanded. Huckleberry stammered about what he was doing earlier. "Well - I - I was just - er, er, I'm sorry, ''madame." he finally said. Magi scowled at the dog as he gave her an apologetic grin and pinched out a fire that had started on top of his head. Magi picked up the plates - which all had a metal dome over the top - off a nearby bench, and storming out the kitchen. "Well, I never!" she exclaimed in disgust. Dawson set his glass back on the table as Magi placed their dinners in front of him, Crysta, and Zak. "You know, Zak," he said. "perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour?" Zak simply sat there, staring at Crysta with a lovestruck expression on his face. Realizing that Dawson had said something to them, they snapped out of their daze. Zak let out a small chuckle and looked at Dawson. "I'm sorry, Dawson." he said, "What was that?" Dawson leaned over to the boy and whispered, "You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do something, have a life. Get your mind off-" As Dawson complained, he opened his dish, and Jiminy was huddled inside. Crysta noticed Jiminy and became worried. Jiminy quietly shushed the worried fairy, who opened her dish and urged for Jiminy to quickly hide in hers. "Easy, Dawson, easy." said Zak, "It's not a bad idea. If she's interested." As the two chatted, Jiminy quickly and quietly dashed across the table and hid in Crysta's dish. With Jiminy safe, Crysta turned to Zak. "Well, what do you say?" asked Zak. "Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow?" Crysta nodded, genuinely excited by the prospect and also internally relieved. "Wonderful!" beamed Dawson. "Now let's eat, before this cricket wanders off my plate." He looked down, only to be confused that Jiminy had just run off his plate. Dinner got carried on into the evening long after the sun had set and afterwards, Crysta, Zak, and Dawson went their separate ways. Crysta was now dressed in her nightclothes as she watched Zak play with Batty from the balcony. Crysta was now wearing a floor-length, red nightgown, matching slippers, matching sleeping mask, and white ankle-length bloomers. "Come here boy!" Zak laughed to Batty, "Arrr!!!" He knelt on the ground and Batty ran up to him and called, "Here I come, Zak!" Zak growled playfully at the bat as he pinned him down. He looked up and smiled when he saw that the black-haired fairy he'd found on the beach that day, watching. Zak waved at Crysta, and she waved back, before slipping further back into her room. Zak's eyes sparkled as his smile widened. He was actually really looking forward to taking her around his kingdom tomorrow, and could only hope that she felt the same way. Crysta smiled as she brushed her hair with her fork. Jiminy (now wearing a long yellow nightshirt, off-white leggings that went down to his ankles, and a red nightcap) complained about his experience in the kitchen as he cleaned off the cooking spices. "This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life." he complained. Crysta patted Jiminy on the head. "I hope you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady!" scolded the cricket, as he waved his lettuce leaf at Crysta while she walked over to her bed. Crysta's bed was a large canopy bed with light red mattresses & matching bedsheets & pillows, large red curtains (with golden draw-tassels) on all four sides (attached to the red canopy), matching blankets, white linens, a warm, fuzzy red blanket, & scarlet mahogany bedposts (with a headboard of the same color & material). Anyway, Jiminy told Crysta, "Now, we've got to make a plan to get that boy to kiss you." She lowered the sleeping mask over her eyes, removed her slippers, opened the curtains, and bounced a little before settling back into the large pillow on the left side of the canopy bed and crawled under the covers. "Tomorrow, when he takes you for that ride, you gotta look your best." said Jiminy. Crysta lay in her bed. It was very comfy and warm. It was a nice place for her to sleep for the night. "You're gonna bat your eyes - like this," Jiminy went on, as he batted his eyes and puckered his lips. "You gotta pucker up your lips - like this." But by now, he realized that Crysta was already fast asleep. Jiminy shook his head and smiled. "Hm." He blew out the candle on the bed side table. He hopped onto one of Crysta's pillows, closed the curtains, and before falling asleep himself, he said, "You are hopeless, child. You know that?" He yawned and closed his eyes as Crysta covered him up with her red blanket. "Completely hopeless!" And with that, Crysta and Jiminy both fell asleep for the night. Category:Fan Fiction Category:The Little Mermaid Fanfiction Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmake Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmakes Category:The Little Mermaid Parodies Category:The Little Mermaid Spoofs Category:Songs Category:Spin-offs